For this post, there is no ‘Jackhole;’ there is only a ‘Homie.’ Adam ‘MCA’ Yauch of the Beastie Boys passed away this weekend after years of battling cancer, and I don’t believe that posting a satirical contrast would pay him the respect that he deserves. MCA (MC Adam) contributed to so much of my youth and I am literally in tears from his passing. Honestly, it’s a little out of character for me to respond like this to the death of a celebrity. Even sweet little Brittany Murphy didn’t get so much as a single teardrop. So why, then, are the water works turning on in this case? Probably because his death is actually due to life happening to a person… not a person living on the edge.
Not to mention, I have been listening to the Beastie Boys for 20 years. They helped me through my awkward adolescence, my young adult rebellion, and everything in between. How many bands can anyone say that about? Crazy ish, man. And that was in the 90’s, when I lived in the suburbs and everyone pretty much did as they were told. Everyone needs a little bit of healthy rebellion. Literally, the first rebellious music I ever listened to was -ironically- on the way to church camp when I was 11. My sister’s boyfriend had his boombox on his lap, and he played his cassette with ‘No Sleep Till Brooklyn’ and ‘Fight for Your Right,’ and I was hooked. I had never had a single thought of defiance. Granted, an 11 year old should have boundaries… but what about a person’s individuality? What about their personal views that need developing? MCA was the last piece of the puzzle before Beastie Boys chose their new name, their direction, and went on to create music that would remain classics for decades.
And I’m just a grain of sand… when you have Snoop Dogg, Justin Timberlake, Rainn Wilson, and Rev Run tweeting in mourning, you know the whole nation has been affected.
MCA, you will live on in my iPod forever… or until the world revolutionizes mp3’s. I’ll keep rockin your party eight days a week:)
Adam, Adam, Adam… May I just say that your rendition of Johnny Cash’s ‘Ring of Fire‘ was amazing to me. You are a true inspiration as an innovator and if you didn’t sometimes like boys, I would be so into you. Which makes it so easy to brag on you for mentoring aspiring artists this week.
Adam Lambert, American Idol Finalist in 2009, dropped by for an hour and a half to advise and [hopefully] inspire participants on the show ‘Majors & Minors.’ He says that his advice may be a touch more valuable than those who have been around the block time and time again due to his more recent ‘tried and true’ efforts. Currently, he is still fighting industry trends to make a career for himself. Not to mention, those who teach while they’re still learning have the potential to learn much, much more. I’m definitely looking forward to what else you have to offer the community of young artists. The only way I could rate you higher is if you were to mentor orphans.
Way to give back, ‘Homie!‘ Keep on keepin’ on:)
Now on to Ashton. My handsome Hollywood player. I will admit to finding your twinkling eyes and dazzling smile somewhat irresistible. But you had one of the hottest actresses EVER, and you blew it.
Demi Moore, Ashton’s wife of 6 years, announced plans for divorce this week. Nothing has been confirmed, yet, but it’s likely to be due to Kutcher’s Tiger-like cheating. The two have been seeking counseling from their Kabbalah center recently at an attempt to repair their recently broken marriage. After reports of his infidelity, Kutcher was confronted by Moore’s (incredibly intimidating) ex-husband, Bruce Willis. Willis got in Kutcher’s face, and rightfully so. When reports of the Willis-Moore divorce surfaced, there was no real reason given and there had even been reports shortly thereafter about a possible reconciliation/remarriage. However, Moore met Kutcher and married the cub instead. I think Bruce has many regrets and was not willing to see Kutcher mess things up with a woman who is clearly a valued prize. He told Kutcher that the couple needed to seek counseling from a licensed professional who specializes in marriage, and that he needed to quit fooling around with the bullshit of being an infidel. Kutcher cried and agreed. It’s only been a week, now, since the report of this confrontation came about and Demi is ready to call it quits. As a girl who has been compared to Demi (for my fabulous taste in younger men), I applaud her and encourage her to get the hell out while she can and not let Ashton’s pretty face suck her back in.
You blew it with one of the classiest, hottest, chillest women in Los Angelos. Way to go, ‘Jackhole.’
When I first came up with the concept for this blog, I immediately thought of the tragedy that Taylor Armstrong (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) went through recently. On August 15, 2011, Taylor and a family friend found her estranged husband, Russell Armstrong, dead in his rented West Hollywood home. Russell had hanged himself from a beam in his bedroom. Entertainment reporters were making it out to be a Bravo scandal, like it had more to do with I-won’t-sue-Bravo-if- clauses in contracts than an actual tragedy someone had suffered. I planned to expose Bravo, among other reality show networks, and paint them in the worst Jackhole light ever. Unfortunately, after some research, I learned that this really had nothing to do with cameras or limelight. This was something that happened due to real-life choices and grievances.
It is incredibly terrible that someone would have to suffer this kind of heartbreak after already in the public eye. Not to mention the fact that this happened not too long after Russell had apparently seen an x-ray of Taylor’s skull. Reports after Russell’s death claim that Russell had abused Taylor almost two dozen times during the course of their marriage, once during her pregnancy with their daughter. According to Taylor, she doesn’t think Russell saw himself as an abuser until he saw the incredible damage that the most recent occurrence had caused. Shortly thereafter, he missed a scheduled meeting with his estranged wife and was not answering his phone. Fearing the worst, Taylor and a family friend went to check on him, only to find him passed away inside.
This week, our ‘Homie‘ title goes to Taylor. I know you loved your husband, and my heart goes out to you and your family at this time.
Now, for something on a lighter note. Scarlett Johansson. Oh, how I already loathed thee. And now, you have to stoop so low as to involve the FBI in the matter of your phone being hacked?? Are you insane?! Our country needs every dollar it can possibly hang onto and you’re asking our tax payers to find the people who publicized your nude photos? Guess what, hussie! You’re famous. If you take nude photos, make a sex tape, or even sext someone, it’s getting leaked! End of story. Don’t be so idiotic as to think that you are the ONE invincible celebrity who will escape that fate. Not to mention the fact that you should be happy. All press is good press, no? I was beginning to forget about you. Had it not been for the hacking of your phone, I would have been happy never hearing your name again. Mila Kunis (who I would never forget) went through the same situation not too long ago, and she has no comment. If you want to keep these things off of the public’s mind: lay low, RE: with ‘no comment,’ and call your rep to dig you out of this embarrassment. You could learn something from Ms. Kunis, you spoiled little shit.
‘Jackhole’ of the week goes to you, Scarlett. As if I needed one more reason to hate you.