Alright people… bad news first!
I didn’t get a position that I worked super hard for… which just goes to show that it can matter more that you know the owner from a previous company, and it doesn’t always matter how much overtime a person puts in. It was orchestrated so that a third ‘impartial party’ would come in to arrange the promotion, so that nothing raised suspicions. But here’s the deal: she has been here the least amount of time, and knows far less information about our department than I do. And that’s not even the most annoying part. Her first communication as our
ruthless fearless leader? An email with the subject ‘TEAM LEAD’ in all caps, requesting that we be patient with her as she learns everything she needs to know.
The kicker? I’m already one foot out the door, so I really am taking all of this with a grain of salt. Maria, you are a stinkin’ JACKHOLE. Okay, she’s not a jackhole, she came and apologized for essentially black balling me. But still. The now I know where I rank with the owner, and it’s not giving me any incentive to stick around.
Which leads perfectly into my next update…
That interview from last week that was rescheduled for Tuesday? NAILEDDDDD ITTT! I showed up looking On. Fleek… Business dress, natural makeup, new heels. I had my folder filled with four copies of my newly designed resume and references – printed on Executive Bright White paper from FedEx Kinkos. I sweetly greeted the receptionist, because you know those ladies report how applicants behave, and she handed me a clipboard of paperwork to fill out.
Now, I should explain this company a little– They are an amazing staffing agency who focus mainly on temp-to-hire. Everything is long term, no crappy companies, etc. So Mr. Will walked out to greet me, and I apologized for last week. He brushed it off and thanked me for following up so well. We walk into his office, and he asks if I would be okay with someone sitting in on the interview. I tell him of course… he does a double take and asks, “It wouldn’t intimidate you, right?” and with an air of humor and confidence I reply, “Nah, I’m a good interviewer!” With one eye down the hall, waving Hannah into the office, and one eye on me, I could tell he was already impressed, and laughing. I won’t bore you with details, but I will say this: he ranked me in the top 3 of his last 20 applicants, he laughed at my salary request, but said he can get me there (relatively soon), and he kept emphasizing “WHEN you come to work for us…” They don’t accept everyone, only about 25% of the applicants. He is going to look for an opening that would be a good fit, and since I’m currently working, we’re in no hurry which is great. It was a dream interview. We literally walked to the lobby laughing, shook hands, and parted ways. Legit, I felt like a regular Courtney Kerr walking out of a BaubleBar meeting!
I can’t wait to hear back from Mr. Will. That reminds me— I need to send a thank you card asap! HOMIE this week goes to me. Kuppy. I deserve this.
Okay, so let’s just say for the record, I have always loved the Real Housewives. Dating back to the first episode of Orange County six years ago, my dream has always to become even a third as successful as these women. Many of them are down to earth, making time for their children, reading the Bible and putting God first, and holding each others’ hands during times of true heartache.
However, I have a couple of fundamental issues that are bothering me regarding their actions and their speech, so let’s dive right in, shall we?
First and foremost, let’s be honest. I’m not super familiar with Heather’s financial situation, but ALL of the other four women have issues in that department. Either they are stressed about being the breadwinner for their families, or they can’t make the mortgage payment without the help of a spouse (happy or estranged). They’re dating men who can’t pay the same amount of child support as they could have in 2007, or they’re trying to beat the system of ‘foreclosure.’ None of them have room to talk, and yet, they always find the time to sit under a nice shady grove and spill some tea. For shame. Even if any of the ladies did have wonderful finances, shouldn’t they (as many of them are self-proclaimed God-fearing citizens) feel empathy rather than self-righteousness? In this great, capitalist country in which we live, the economy is capable of slipping. So the only thing we can do, or should do, is be supportive of each other and try to make tomorrow a better day.
Secondly, can we please talk about the grammatical errors that these women use far too regularly?! I know that I’m no one spectacular, but if nothing else, I am well-spoken and I chew with my mouth closed. I don’t know, isn’t that pretty much the bare minimum?? Many of these girls use incorrect grammar constantly and it has gotten on my last nerve. I look up to Vicki like crazy, simply due to her resilience in relationships and in finance. However, when she says the word, ‘I,’ when she should use the word, ‘me,’ I just want to punch her. Grammar lesson, Ladies!! If, when you take all of the other subjects out of a sentence, the correct pronoun for yourself is ‘me,’ then when you put all the other subjects back in, you say, ‘me!!’ I know it sounds like the opposite of what we were taught in elementary school, however, the fact remains that you weren’t listening well enough. Please. I beg of you. Take a grammar lesson so you can return to the top of my list of mentors. At that juncture, I may be able to -once again- overlook all of your ridiculous drama. Okay, I take that back. I love the drama. Keep that ridiculousness coming.
Homies AND Jackholes this week: RHOC
Sammi ‘The sweetest
bitch you’ll ever meet’ Giancola isss hilarious. I have never been into watching Jersey Shore, but my roommates are die-hard and I don’t have cable in my room. Thus, my new favorite reality personality.
In Season 5, Episode 4 of Jersey Shore, the cast was partying at Karma, as per the norm. Supposedly out of nowhere, Sammi was ‘attacked by like a swarm of f******
bitches.’ Apparently, they pulled her hair and threw her drink. She definitely threw down before literally being thrown through the front door by bouncers. As the rest of the cast joined her on the walk back to their beach house, Ronnie made the comment that Sammi was bleeding. Without skipping a beat, Sammi shouts, “Did you see me? It was me against the WORLDDD! AND I still held my clutch! You don’t yank my newly weave, that I just got… I was always taught to like, self-defend myself.” BAAAAAhahahahaha! Really? I love.
You are my ‘Homie’ of the week, Sam. Don’t let nobody mess with your drink, your clutch, or your newly weave!
Snooki. Really? That’s all I can say to your struggle that is Season 5’s Episode 5, immediately following your lack of bladder control.
Nicole -Snooki- Polizzi actually peed down her leg. …Half drunk laughing, half embarrassed, this meatball ran to the
ladies room in Karma, sprayed her ‘kooka‘ multiple times to give herself a ‘Shore Shower‘. She didn’t fully clean herself, she didn’t wash her hands, and she shouted, “I’m not dirty!!!” —OKAY PAUSE!!! Yes you ARE dirty, lady! Lol are you out of your mind?! Sick McNasty!— Before going out the next night, Snooki prepared herself with backup (booty shorts over her panties) as a proactive measure. After waking up, Snooki called for a doctor’s appointment and was later diagnosed with a UTI. Her very professional views as a graduated vet tech — drink enough alcohol to numb the pain in her mind and in her kooka. Regardless of the fact that you provide me with many brain-cell-losing laughter, you, my friend are a Jackhole.
‘Jackhole.’ Lol that’s all I can say at this point in time.